Friday Wishes

Suddenly come out with this idea. After a longggg Hiatus.

Dunia ni kejam sangat untuk saya tinggal sendiri. I wanna go somewhere safe where no one will hurt me, no one will make me cry, no one will drive me crazy and shouting in silence.

I tunaikan tanggungjawab pada someone dan lepas tu I nangis sensorang bawah bantal. Selalu fikir, apa jadi kalau saya sakit dan takde sesiapa untuk jaga dan temankan saya. Then I wish for something quick and easy, I wanna die like him. Gone in a blink. That was too easy for him because he's  very good husband n father, Someone yang tak pernah susahkan saya, orang yang damai hatinya, someone yang tak pernah simpan benci dan iri dalam hati, someone yang banyak berkorban untuk orang lain.

And Dear, because you're gone in a blink, for four years, I never stop crying since then. I stop counting my age because I wanna be your little wife forever. *sebab tu bila orang tanya umur saya, saya selalu lupa. :P  I wish I can turn back time and spend that gloomy Sunday with you at home. I knew, I can't. You're in the safest place now and you don't have to worry about me anymore.

"Kalau kita sakit masuk ICU ada tak orang datang ramai macam orang tengok Arwah Puan Laila?"

"Insya-Allah ada."
"Kita tak ada ramai kawan. Kita tak ada suami macam En. Hafiz yang boleh menulis panjang di Facebook tentang isterinya"
".. jadi kalau kita dah tak sedar diri terlantar sensorang kat ICU, siapa nak tolong announce kat Facebook or kat wassap?"
"ataupun...kalau perlu tulis kat surat khabar tak pun nanti kita beritahu lawyer kita, please find Yam if I am on life support." :))
*macam ada lawyer je.. hihihihi

 I would not know who will take care of me but I do have plan, planned way ahead. I pledged as an organ and tissues donor.

You can take everything, my eyes although it wasn't pretty but they're in perfect condition, I hope my eyes later can be benefited by someone, help him/her to see the world again, to appreciate everything that she will see. My skins, although tak putih melepak tapi kulit saya cantik. Kulit yang saya jaga ini mungkin dapat menampal kesan-kesan luka atau terbakar pada seseorang dan kembalikan semula keyakinan diri dia. You also can have a pair of my kidney, they are in TLC. You can have my heart for sure, I try my best to eliminate cholesterol from bugging him. As I said, you can have them all. I am no longer alive by that time, I wont feel anything. Don't worry about me because a good doctor will take care of me before all of you can have me in you.

I just have one request, send me your prayers coz I will need it to lighten up my grave.


I wish after they take out everything from my body, I won't too heavy for some people to carry my dead body and send me to my resting place. This is sole reason why pledge to donate my organs and tissues.

Dan awak, Yes, awak yang saya tak tahu lagi siapa, kalau boleh biarlah saya yang mati dulu supaya saya tak nangis kalau awak tak ada sebab saya tahu, awak tak akan menangis kalau saya takde nanti. Dan kalau saya yang mati dulu, setidak-tidaknya awaklah nanti yang akan mandikan saya sebab saya tak tahu saya mampu atau tidak untuk mandikan awak.

See you much later, yeah I do pray to see you. Please drop some notes in your favorite box for me on Friday, I'll pay you back.

Semoga Allah sentiasa melindungi kita semua. AMIN.

Love,
Ziel